It’s ridiculous how a single text message can shift your mood in an instant. Your emotions run so fast ahead of your reason that you can’t keep up with your reactions. I get frustrated with myself when this happens – when my emotions feel like separate entities taking control over me.
In order to understand them, in order to find the root from which they grow, I retrieve. It frustrates some people when I hide away but I find it necessary. My intention is not to get lost in the whirlwind of my own emotions. I don’t want to do something just for the sake of making a point or say something that I would later regret. I’m certain if I were more rooted within myself, I’d be able to stay in my core, have a bird-view shot of the situation and calmly express my truth in the moment. if I were more rooted, I wouldn’t feel this need to retrieve, but for the time being, I do.
Music keeps me company when I hide. In the labyrinth of my emotions, music guides me like a flashlight. A sudden urge to listen to a song that I hadn’t heard in a long time emerges and I know it is no coincidence. That particular song or singer holds my hand and we take a trip down under my subconscious, leaving my ego behind. With the music, I begin to hear myself and see what is really going on with me.
So one single text message got me in a strange mood. The song that arose within me was Melody Gardot’s Love me like a River does. I got out on my balcony, drank a glass of red wine that was about to go bad, smoked a lumberingly self-rolled cigarette, and listened to the song that called for me.
The original on the album is slower and softer, but I love love love this live version where she turns it into a tango. I hope it dances with you as well….