Emotional Spring Cleaning

 “April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.

– TS Eliot

I remember losing my grandmother on a Valentine’s Day. Although she was 93 years-old, it was a devastating shock to my family. What fools we were to forget that time waits for no one. Change, just like death, is inevitable.

We label death, death of any kind – a person, a relationship, a dream – as something to be feared and avoided at all costs. We battle with the natural cycle of life by our desperate need to control and our deaf persistence that we know best. In our rebellion against death, we ignore its true purpose, which is to create new life.

I remember… when we were sorting out my grandmother’s belongings in a whirlwind of letters & photos, souvenirs & lovely products of her laborious heart, I began to hear the whispers of something familiar. I began to understand something I’d already known. “Breeding lilacs out of the dead land” of her cold, quiet apartment, something that was there all along within me, began to move. To take life.

tumblr_ngr1xlzo2T1qzgs16o1_1280 2You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame;
how could you rise anew if you have not first become ashes?” 

 – Nietzche

Death means going back to the beginning. To be reborn is to return to your roots, to your origin. To your truth. “Mixing memory and desire,” April is the perfect month to re-discover who you are and re-claim from yourself what truly makes you happy. What is spring cleaning but to let go of the past to make room for fresh starts; let it die to open (the meaning of April in ancient Rome) your path for new beginnings? Remember that tears of farewell to your old self will be the spring rain with which your “dull roots will stir.”

So this month, let us continue to be brave enough to ask the right questions whose truthful answers will open our path to happier selves. Let us make our peace with change and embrace the excitement of the unknown. Let us wake up from the hectic trance of superficiality we are currently living in. Let us trust that our seeds are not planted in vain, and that they will bloom in due time. Let us take flight.

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